if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
