can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
