Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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