After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
