Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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