yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm at about main and main street
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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