My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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