That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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