How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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