it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
