Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
