The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
