I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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