then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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