Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
