Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize