Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
