You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
