she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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