i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
