We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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