Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
