Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
