All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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