The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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