I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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