i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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