I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
