She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
