My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
