what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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