I don't think brook has ever known best
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
