She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The air was thick with penises
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
