Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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