is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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