At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
