I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
where are my eyebrows?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
