Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize