i would punch a child for taco bell
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
