Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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