I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
