Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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