her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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