it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
