The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Girls should come with a carfax report
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
