ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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