If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
