Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
