all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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