forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
