I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize