see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
