Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
