____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
