I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
