i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
