i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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