How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
